Liam sent me an e-mail Saturday. The relevant text and links are as follows:

Andrew Sullivan this week has had a running series of threads called The Missing, which has developed into a discussion about adoption in our culture. 

I thought you might appreciate this in particular:

http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/2011/01/the-missing-parenting-is-a-crapshoot.html

The initial post, and then subsequent ones  (the URLS of the subsequent ones don’t actually follow the right order ordinally, as it were – I don’t know why….):

http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/2011/01/unwanted-pregnancies-and-infertile-couples.html

http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/2011/01/the-missing-ctd.html

http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/2011/01/the-missing-ctd-1.html

http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/2011/01/the-missing-ctd-4.html

http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/2011/01/the-missing-ctd-2.html

http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/2011/01/the-missing-ctd-5.html

http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/2011/01/the-missing-ctd-3.html

http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/2011/01/the-missing-ctd-6.html

I was initially feeling compelled to respond, but I kept at the series and read it through. People already covered what I was going to say about the “500,000 and 100,000.” There are facts involved:

- You may think you’re holding out for an ideal child, but control is an illusion. If you haven’t learned that as an adult, you will have a rude awakening at some point in your life.

- The wait-list for adoption is an illusion. If you want a match to your Caucasian genes and a day-old infant who didn’t have a mom on drugs, then maybe you will wait your whole life. You may have waited a long time to find the perfect spouse, too. But if any couple is serious about adopting, a release on even a few of your pre-conditions will mean you will have a child in your home within months of completing a home study. All told, my wife and I spent about two years from the day we decided to adopt children to the day when the young miss moved in with us.

And a few opinions:

- Planned Parenthood and the political Right-to-Life movement share a grave flaw. They ignore adoption. Asking a young woman to put her life on hold (her perspective) for nine months nears the realm of heroism for our instant-gratification society. RTL lacks a visible heart. If their political efforts against health insurance reform were steered toward adoption, they would gain a significant number of grudging allies. Both groups now exist for self-perpetuation. Neither has a need to end the disasters of unwanted pregnancies or abortions. The hate and anger have consumed them.

- That is not to say that individuals within either movement can’t or don’t do good work to make the world a better place. They do it in spite of the organization, not because of it.

- More hermeneutic of subtraction at work: make the world better by getting rid of stuff we don’t like. It’s a whole lot harder to build up than tear down. I’ll admit I make judgments about organizations based on where I see their ethics sitting on this. There are any number of reasons for taking the easy way in daily life: you’re taking the high road on the important stuff; you’ve had a long day–things like that. That’s a genuine reason for a time-out. But overall, there should be something in one’s life of heroism. Maybe that something is adopting a child from foster care.

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