Catholic Sensibility

Former House Speaker and relatively new Catholic Newt Gingrich has joined the Arkansas preacher and former governor on the meme that America’s not religious enough. Mr Gingrich:

When you have an anti-religious, secular bureaucracy and secular judiciary, seeking to drive God out of public life, something fills the vacuum.

Rev Huckabee earlier said:

And since we’ve ordered God out of our schools, and communities, the military and public conversations, you know we really shouldn’t act so surprised … when all hell breaks loose.

In terms of any measurable sense, the United States ranks very high among the world’s most Christian nations, but still behind Muslim nations, plus most of sub-Saharan Africa. It has ranked so in the past, but we didn’t avoid disasters like this factory fire. Evangelicals would probably suggest it was the fault of those Catholic and Jewish women who worked there. Someone’s always to blame, it seems. And some people seem eager enough to instill fear in others.

If Huck and Newt were up on their Bible, they would know that the Judeo-Christian tradition has always wrestled with the conundrum that the wicked prosper and the just suffer. The Psalmist offered up an entire composition on the question. I think you have to go far deeper than politicians are willing to wade to get at the core of the problem. A serious look will always find the sinner within one’s own skin. And a serious look will likely find a believer in the shoes of a person like Father Bob Weiss, who has distinguished himself for his service to grieving families.

Feeling a bit better today. But with howling winds pushing the falling and fallen snow, I don’t think I’ll be venturing out until much later today. They already closed the church office. Did I mention this was tabbed the worst blizzard since 1996, which happened to coincide with the day before Anita and I got married?

All of our windows are iced and snowed over. I was doing a lot of cooking last night–chicken soup and apple-cinnamon pan bread. I did manage to get a half-clear shot out the back door. But the rest of the kitchen windows are frozen fogged and whited out.

Astronomy Today has a magnificent image from orbit of the remote Antarctic station Concordia. The closest human beings to the French and Italian engineers and astronomers are the Russians at Vostok base, 350 miles away. Even the International Space Station doesn’t orbit that high.

The station has a blog, which is fascinating reading. In particular, Dr Alex Salam’s reflection on the privilege of serving in Antarctica struck me deeply. There is a deep monastic opportunity, it seems to me, in this remote wilderness.

It wasn’t until the last plane of the summer season left that the feeling of living on another planet fully hit home however. Concordia is extremely busy over the summer, full of hustle and bustle with planes arriving and people coming and going. Over the course of a couple of weeks around early February numbers begin to dwindle however, until eventually one day you find yourself huddled amongst a group of just twelve of you, struggling to keep track of the last plane as it gradually disappears into the desolate distance.

And then it really hits home: you’re own your own, no matter what. This is when the adventure really begins, the challenge of living in a small group in a confined space, the sensory and social monotony that gradually builds up over several months, having to deal with medical and technical emergencies autonomously, prolonged separation from family and friends with limited telecommunications, and the inevitable darkness.

The Jesuits, about the most hardcore retreatants out there, don’t do more than thirty days. Several months strikes me as a deeply monastic opportunity. There is work to do. I imagine that for scientific minds, the routines of menial tasks needed for survival are a challenge. But that feeling of being “on my own”–I get that every time I park the car at a monastery or retreat house. There is very much the sense that I have left a lot behind, and I’m heading to an intimate encounter in a way I’m not usually attuned. When our surroundings, our usual routines do not support us, there is little else left but reliance on God:

O God, you are my God—
it is you I seek!
For you my body yearns;
for you my soul thirsts,
In a land parched, lifeless,
and without water. (Psalm 63:2)

Dr Salam lists many of the aspects of “normal” life that I would probably describe as “usual” to our modern sensibilities:

But despite all the factors that make Concordia a difficult place to live in, there is an absence of some of the stressful situations present in ‘everyday’ life such as commuting, shopping, queues, bills, excessive choice, advertising and information overload, rules and regulations and so on. And although everyone feels some of the psychological and social stressors to a certain degree, some experience the absence of “normal” life very positively.

What I see in this reflection is the innate human longing that is unsatisfied by consumption and indulgence. Living and working in a community of a dozen people with the distractions stripped away.

Indeed, with time most people who have spent a winter at Concordia (and often Antarctica in general) feel many positive effects associated with the privilege of having experienced one of the planet’s most spectacularly vast and daunting environments, such as: a profound sense of accomplishment, increased personal and professional confidence, a better tolerance and adaptation to stress, a clearer vision of one’s personal needs, limits and ambitions and a deeper appreciation of personal freedoms and the natural environment.

This list would easily fit for the goals of monastic life.

But I know what I would look forward most to seeing …

But despite the effects the darkness can have on sleep, mood and cognitive performance, there is something inherently special about the Antarctic night. The heavens present a view that many stargazers can only ever dream of. You just have to try and catch a glimpse of the stars before your eyelashes freeze together! Seeing the station from a distance with the Milky Way towering far above it never failed to make me feel both awe inspired and simultaneously insignificant.

The believer can get a flavor of this even without looking at the stars. The interior life always beckons. And while there are often inner terrors and demons to battle, the encounter with God is no less wondrous …

I think of you upon my bed,
I remember you through the watches of the night
You indeed are my savior,
and in the shadow of your wings I shout for joy. (Psalm 63:7-8)

What to do when a beloved church building must be renovated?

§ 240 § When renovation of a church is to be undertaken or when it becomes necessary to raze an old church, special care is needed. A church that has served its people over many years will not easily be relinquished, especially by those with deep roots in the parish. In this type of project, parish involvement in the assessment of need and in subsequent planning is especially critical. Although consultation allows opposition to emerge more quickly than it otherwise might, in the final analysis it is better that all points of view be heard and dealt with in an atmosphere of respect and collaboration than that they be left unvoiced to fester for the future.

I still remember a very wise pastor who called a special meeting to respond to the “opposition.” He walked into a full church with a folding chair under his arm. He set it up at the end of the main aisle and said he would dialogue with anyone and everyone for as long as it took.

§ 241 § There will always be some members of a community who will find it difficult, if not impossible, to relinquish their past church, but an open assessment of the local needs, coupled with education about the liturgical rites, can go far toward drawing a parish together in support of the work to be done. In principle, the community deserves to hear how the renovation will enhance their ability to pray with solemnity, beauty, and dignity.

§ 242 § It is also important in situations such as these for respect to be shown for the existing building and its appointments so as to preserve as much of the original worthy fabric as possible. When the project involves a renovation, materials such as marble and wood paneling, as well as other artifacts or furnishings, often can be refurbished and incorporated into the new design, provided they are of requisite quality. Informing the parish of the efforts being made in this regard may make the adjustment to the new worship space less difficult, if not more appealing.

It can be difficult when materials are thought to be of quality, but it is discovered not to be so. In the parish above, every effort was made to utilize the “Italian marble” of the high altar. Alas, it was a quarter-inch veneer glued to a concrete frame.

§ 243 § There are times, however, when the materials are no longer suitable, either because they are worn or because they no longer serve the needs of the liturgy. In such cases, pastors and committees need to consult with the diocesan worship office or the chancery regarding any policies governing the disposal of such items. In recent years there have been examples of religious artifacts and sacred vessels appearing at auctions and on websites for purchase with seemingly no consideration of their purpose or significance.

§ 244 § Finally, when a church interior is to be gutted or torn down, celebrating a final Mass to mark the closing of the church building is appropriate. Perhaps the most appropriate ritual would be the final celebration of Mass in the church, followed by a procession in which the people journey to either the new place of worship or to the place that will serve them temporarily until the necessary work on the new or renewed space for worship is finished.

All texts from Built of Living Stones are copyright © 2000, United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, Inc. All rights reserved. Used with permission.

The much-anticipated/dreaded blizzard has struck Iowa tonight. We had some thunder and lightning with the snow. That last bit was freaky.

The entire family has been holed up inside today. Despite two-thirds of us getting flu shots, we were all home sick. Even the cat barfed a few times outside the bedroom door.

A young friend of mine has gone missing. He left home too soon in life, lost a job and an apartment, feels estranged from his family, and tragically, is homeless on a night like tonight. Probably holed up in his car somewhere. It looks peaceful white from the inside of a warm home. I imagine it must be bitter on the inside a shell of metal with an empty gas tank and a feeling of estrangement from family and friends. So, if you’re reading, offer up a prayer if you would. When the young miss emerged from the shower, we read Luke 15:11ff. It was all I could think of. This is a good time of year to come home.

The Vatican wants to shut down Sunday shopping in Italy. All of a sudden, that’s become a liberal cause: giving small businesses relief from the relentless push from corporations that can keep stores open 24/7. And crush any local competitors.

I wonder how they would weigh in on shipboard retreats during Lent.

I have a theory about that last one, hosted by two of Catholicism’s most “orthodox” bloggers. They couldn’t find a retreat house anywhere on the continent that would host such a thing. But a handful of Catholics among honeymooners, gamblers, and winter vacation-ites. That sounds like some seriously “new” evangelization to my ears. Some serious schism, too, among conservative internet Catholics.

I think you have retreats in retreat houses and at monasteries. I presume cruises are great fun–that’s what I hear from people who have gone on them. I think shopping is great, too. Maybe I’ll have to give some thought to foregoing the convenience of the Sunday economy. Giving up luxury for Lent, though–one would think that’s a given.

With the discovery of five planets orbiting the star Tau Ceti, does this mean all the sf literature on that system is now obsolete?

My take is that Asimov, Clarke, Niven, and others will eventually pass into the realm of Jules Verne and Edgar Rice Burroughs. These guys were skilled authors with great imaginations. Memorable characters, too. But eventually the factual truth about the universe–in this case other planetary systems–will come out. And we’ll be left to entertain ourselves by the quality of the writing. From the Universe Today site:

(T)his new discovery is the closest single sun-like star that we know of to host of an entire system of planets. The five planets are estimated to have masses between two and six times the mass of the Earth, making it the lowest-mass planetary system yet detected. The planet in the habitable zone of the star has a mass around five times that of Earth, making it the smallest planet found to be orbiting in the habitable zone of any Sun-like star.

I want to get to that “habitable zone” in a bit. But first, a thought that Tau Ceti may be more appealing than twentieth century guesswork in the books:

- As you can see above, when compared to the sun (left) Tau Ceti is bit smaller, less spotty, and more orange than our home star. If God decided to pull a cosmic switcheroo and give our solar system Tau Ceti one morning, we’d be deep in an ice age within a few years. Earthlike planets will need to huddle closer to that star.

- Tau Ceti is thought to be older than the sun. Generally speaking, astronomers think lower metal content in a star implies a formation farther back in time, before as many supernovae blasted as much iron, nickel, gold, etc. into the cosmos. One presumes that Tau Ceti’s planets will have less iron and rock, and more lighter elements and compounds: carbon, nitrogen, water, methane, ammonia, etc..

- Astronomers have detected about ten times as much “debris” around Tau Ceti. Amateurs are surprised to find out that it is easier for Earthlings to detect dust belts, gas clouds, and debris than it is to find planets. Ten times more asteroids, comets, and space dust swirl in Tau Ceti orbit. Given these new planets are so close in (inside the orbit of Mars in our system) I wonder if all the debris isn’t orbiting a bit farther out. I wonder if astronomers have fine tuned the location of all that junk.

- Astronomers have ruled out a Jupiter-sized planet, unless it’s way, way out from the other five. Jupiter is thought to protect Earth from too many comets and asteroids because it has swallowed up so many over the past billions of years. But on the other hand, without a Jupiter, Tau Ceti’s inner planets may be relatively safe from the occasional asteroid perturbed into an inner system visit.

Here’s why I’m a skeptic on habitable zones. Planets and moons can be warmed by things other than sunlight. Radioactive decay warms the Earth’s interior to the temperature of the sun. Tides of the moons of Jupiter keep rock molten and subsurface oceans liquid.

There is another reason that habitable planets are probably never going to be relevant for human travel in space, if we ever make it to the stars. It will take a ship thousands of years to travel the interstellar gulf. That ship will probably be the size of an asteroid or small moon, and will carry all the creature comforts of home. Even if Tau Ceti travellers were to find a nice planet on arrival, a large portion of the human occupants might prefer to stay on board ship. Why disembark to a planet with lots of unknowns?

Facebook and Twitter for the NRA has been shut down. I suppose there’s nothing to say in polite (or even internet) company these days about lobbying for semiautomatic weaponry and armor-piercing ammunition.

My own history is that my dad owned a handgun but none of us kids ever knew where he kept it. For awhile, he owned a few rifles and he took me target shooting a few times. After a few years he sold off the guns. I don’t think my mother approved. But guns were no big deal, really.

This Newtown shooter had firearms that were a bit more advanced than point-shoot-reload. There’s really not any defense for such objects. I mean: how many rounds does it take to kill a deer or rabbit? I wonder if their manufacture and sale isn’t driven by the American consumer indulgence for acquisition. I mean: what other goal could the NRA possibly have? It’s got to be about buying more and more weapons that one won’t ever use. Remember, the odds are still five in six that a home handgun will kill a family member before it stops an intruder.

Any speculation on when the NRA starts a comeback?

Let’s tackle the very delicate situation when it is discerned that an existing church building must be significantly altered.

§ 238 § When a parish constructs a new building, there are many options available for responding to the liturgical needs and balancing the values involved. When a parish is renovating an existing worship space, the building itself may limit some of the design possibilities and constrain the parish to choose between options that are less than ideal. In making compromises demanded by the limits of the existing space, it is important for the parish to continue to work with professionals to consider all the possible options and to make the choice that will best serve the requirements of the liturgy and the other parish priorities.

“Alteration of Historic Structures” will be covered in this section and in tomorrow’s post:

§ 239 § Over time, as public expressions of worship change, there is a consequent shift in the demands on the physical space used for the Church’s liturgy. In accord with the norms of the liturgical reform, it is sometimes necessary to alter historic structures that pose a challenge.(Opera Artis 4) In projects of this kind, a delicate balance can be achieved through a selection of designs and appointments that respect and protect the Church’s ancient artistic heritage and, at the same time, effectively serve the requirements of contemporary worship.

No question: it can be very difficult and demanding to work with an older building. In some ways, however, it can be somewhat freeing not to have to make the larger judgments on architectural style, neighborhood footprint, and other matters of that scale. In some ways, more attention can be brought to bear on small, but significant items.

All texts from Built of Living Stones are copyright © 2000, United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, Inc. All rights reserved. Used with permission.

I was reading about the yoga fuss in Encinitas, California public schools. Maybe a person views yoga as exercise, and the use of brain, breathing, and stretching to feel better. So, can that person accidentally practice religion?

I suppose the same could be asked of a pope praying at the Wailing Wall. Or a Jew reading the Gospels.

Or for that matter, an atheist confronted with the singing of Christmas songs, or the posting of the Ten Commandments, or a Christian prayer before a meeting. Is this a sauce simmering for the gander?

I think it is possible to take good care of sacred things without giving the appearance of extreme scrupulosity. The sacrarium assists with this:

§ 236 § The sacristy near the sanctuary will usually contain the sacrarium, the special sink used for the reverent disposal of sacred substances. This sink has a cover, a basin, and a special pipe and drain that empty directly into the earth, rather than into the sewer system. After Mass, when the vessels are rinsed and cleansed, the water is poured into the sacrarium so that any remaining particles that might be left will not be poured into the sewer but will go directly into the earth. When the purificators and corporals are rinsed before being washed, the water is disposed of in the sacrarium. The sacrarium also can be used to discard old baptismal water, left-over ashes, and the previous year’s oils, if they are not burned.

§ 237 § In addition, if any of the Precious Blood is accidentally spilled during Mass, it is carefully wiped up and the area is washed. The water from this process also should be poured down the sacrarium. Reverence for sacred things continues even after they are no longer useful in the liturgy.

Please plan the sacrarium carefully: not draining into the lowest spot on the church campus.

All texts from Built of Living Stones are copyright © 2000, United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, Inc. All rights reserved. Used with permission.

I had heard filmmaker Peter Jackson was turning The Hobbit into a two-part film epic. Since when was it upshifted into a trilogy? Was it the lure of more money, more profits for corporations? It’s not as if JRR Tolkien didn’t pen other great Middle Earth stories that could be filmed.

It’s become a tough choice for me. I can do my part to resist the lemming lure and plunk down an admission or two (or three) to bolster corporate profits. The Tolkien family has refused to sell film rights to other works, so maybe I should have no fear that a single Middle Earth character from the First Age will be developed into a Bond-like franchise.

How secure is your church building?

§ 235 § Distressing though it may be, the contemporary reality compels the Church to be mindful also of security issues for the church building. This is appropriate not only for the sake of securing items and treasures within the church building, but also equally important for the safety of the faithful. It is unfortunate that so many churches today must be locked, thus preventing the faithful from entering for prayer and meditation except for specific times. Investigation should be made regarding the possibility of securing the items inside the church in such a way as to allow the faithful greater access to this house of prayer.

Our building is open sixteen hours a day. Our recent fire was started intentionally at 10:30 in the evening. A person intent on making mischief will find a way to do it. But I agree with the bishops that reasonable precautions can be taken without losing a sense of welcome.

What are your parish’s practices? And what are the surroundings that inform those practices?

All texts from Built of Living Stones are copyright © 2000, United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, Inc. All rights reserved. Used with permission.

In the comments, Mary asked about my averrance to the use of video images. She had some specific questions:

How do you think that parishes should handle it when the bishop issues a pastoral letter by video?

I’ve had to set up multiple televisions for this four or five times. I remember the process quite well. I can hook up multiple screens to a single player and run audio through a sound system. Once, in an unprepared parish, I held a microphone to the sound grid on a projector. Having monitored the message for four or five Masses on a weekend, I don’t recall any of the details. On the other hand, it happens so infrequently that parishioners may well remember the details.

When the bishop sends a video message, I’m a good soldier and I make the best of what the parish provides me. I’m usually the most technologically savvy person on staff, so it’s always left to me to coordinate the presentation. But I’m also an acoustic musician, and I believe in the personal connection between a person speaking or making music with a minimum of in-between stuff. I acknowledge this is just my idealism.

Can you imagine sermons being improved by a well-chosen image or two?

I can. But most preachers struggle mightily to string together a beginning and an end with a significant portion of meat in between. There are priests who could probably do this well, especially if they captured the images themselves, or worked with a photographer-collaborator. That last option would probably be deeply fruitful. I just don’t know how it would possibly work without a lot of practice. And many images are owned by people who captured them. Credit, and compensation, are due.

Showing hymn-words when there are more people present than you own hymnals for?

I will say that the assembly sounds great when their noses are not in a book.

Let me say that as a skeptic, I’m not totally closed to the idea. If a priest wanted to work with a photographer, that might be a great collaboration, like music & lyrics, or ice cream & cake. The last priest I knew who worked with a visual medium, employed a power point to enhance his “sermon” on respect for life–it was a Votive Mass for Life. He used it to cite long stretches of church documents. Eye-catching and accurate. Notable for being different.

My own sense is that unless one is prepared to use the medium of images and video as an artist, I think any presentation will fall short of an ideal. The commitment comes with the building, however, not with the priest. In a parish from twenty years ago, they used to regularly have “post-Communion meditations” projected on a video screen. I never saw one. The pastor who hired me put the kabosh on the project. He hated the big black screen above and behind the altar. But there was nothing to do with it, not even projecting a single image on a seasonal basis.

Some sound thinking on sacristies:

§ 234 § Well designed, well equipped, and well organized sacristies contribute to the smooth function of the liturgy and to the maintenance and preservation of vesture, vessels, linens, and other liturgical appointments. Since the Second Vatican Council, most new churches and some renovated structures provide a vesting sacristy near the entrance to the church adjacent to the gathering space so that the entrance procession can proceed directly from the sacristy into the gathering space and down the aisle to the altar. The vesting sacristy provides storage space for vestments as well as a place where the vestments of the day can be arranged by the sacristan. A restroom, or at least a wash basin with running water, and a full-length mirror can be helpful additions to this area. If the vesting sacristy is located in the rear of the church, it is helpful to have an additional work sacristy that offers easy access to the altar located near the sanctuary. This sacristy would contain the sacrarium (see below) and another basin deep enough to fill tall vases with water. It could contain locked cabinets for items of special value and storage for sacred vessels, altar cloths and other linens, candles and candle stands, and vases, containers, and plant stands. In addition, the work sacristy should be equipped for the laundering and care of church linens. If fabric art in the form of hangings or banners is used in the church, it will be desirable to include a storage area with rods over which these fabrics can be hung so that they do not become wrinkled or damaged from improper storage.

Does it make sense to have multiple sacristies? In my Kansas City parish, we had three, in fact. There was a vesting sacristy that included liturgical books, plus that mirror and restroom. There was a working sacristy for supplies. There was a separate room for server vesting. I saw one plan once for a church that wanted to place a server vesting area adjacent to the priest area, and amazingly, without an exit, except past the clergy. No way would that fly today. I once served in a church where the sacrarium drained into the lowest part of the church property. In Spring, it often backed up and was unusable.

On the plus side, I’ve seen modern sacristies that provide for the laundering of linens, the storage of wine, and other thoughtful accessories. What might your toughts be on the sacristy?

All texts from Built of Living Stones are copyright © 2000, United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, Inc. All rights reserved. Used with permission.

After my lectio yesterday, I turned to another chapter in a book by the Jesuit Peter van Breemen, The God Who Won’t Let Go. You readers know I’ve been drawn into the orbit of many authors of the Ignatian tradition these days. This book has sat on my shelf for a decade. But this week it gets opened. It strikes me as timely for the season, as well as for my spiritual life.

Father van Breemen quotes the philosopher Jorg Splett for an extended essay:

Every person needs more love than he or she deserves.

Isn’t it the truth?

The author suggests that the difference in this equation, this gap between what we deserve and what we need is defined simply as grace. A parish pastor I knew several years ago defied what has been set up as conventional wisdom by some conservative Catholics. People are not more selfish, more self-absorbed, or more unrepentant today than before. This priest, ordained about thirty years, and based on his experiences hearing confessions, suggested instead that believers are more burdened than ever by feelings of inadequacy, low self-esteem, and paralyzing self-doubt. Too much fear; too little love. These fearful folk would seem to be very aware of that gap van Breemen explores. But they find it hard to see the grace.

The apostle John suggests a progression is in play, even for those who believe. We do not naturally embrace God’s love:

We have come to know and to believe in the love God has for us. (1 John 4:16a)

I think children need parents, or at the very least, stable adults, to come to what appears to be a natural realization of this. Somehow, we come to know God’s love. We have to experience it. Most often, this happens in human relationships with others. Saint John cites what has become a liturgical acclamation:

God is love, and whoever remains in love remains in God and God in him. (1 John 4:16b)

… and then continues with what seems to be an obvious reflection. It depends on us who believe:

In this is love brought to perfection among us, that we have confidence on the day of judgment because as he is, so are we in this world.There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment, and so one who fears is not yet perfect in love. We love because he first loved us. (1 John 4:17-19)

God’s unconditional love for us seems so alien, so completely other-worldly. I see many young people who struggle with their own sense of unworthiness: no boyfriend or girlfriend, broken homes, forgot to study, too much alcohol. If the world were just, why wouldn’t they be drummed out of college and sent home to work on the farm? Or they see other lives topple into addiction, or even get snuffed out by a rifle before they even get started. Why wasn’t that me, they ask.

I don’t have the answer, except to suggest that for the one who is aware, it is incumbent on us to start on that journey to “come to know.” And the only way I see to do that is to love. We start by giving a hand up to someone else. And we do it first, before they get any sense that they have merited our helping hand.

For a believer, it is not about loving based on some sort of merit. If we are serious about the imitation of God’s love, the adoption of this alien God, we strive to love first. I don’t love a woman because she loved me first. I don’t love infants because they smiled at me first. I don’t love my team because they won a championship for me first. God’s love for us is totally independent of what we might do. God’s love is based on nothing. On nothing at all. And if that sounds strange, consider that we’re all a lot better off because of it.

Father van Breemen writes an illustration. Cartoonish, perhaps; but it captures the comic essence of sin and God’s persistent love, which is not based on our response. First he cites wisdom literature from the Bible:

For even if we sin, we are yours, and know your might; but we will not sin, knowing that we belong to you. (Wisdom 15:2)

And then he suggests that in denying God’s love through sin, it is as if believers saw off the tree branch on which they sit. Because of God’s love, we do not fall.

He concludes the chapter with a portion of a Christmas homily by Karl Rahner:

God has entrusted his last, deepest, and most beautiful word to the world, in the Word made flesh. This Word says: I love you world, man and woman. I am there. I am with you. I am your life. I am your time. I weep your tears. I am your joy. Do not be afraid. When you do not know how to go any further, I am with you. I am in your anguish, because I suffered it myself. I am in your need and your death, because today I began to live and to die with you. I am your life. I promise you: for you, too, life is waiting. For you, too, the gates will open.