With some helpful input from Liam, I’ve adjusted the awkward spots in the first stanza and felt emboldened to progress to the second:
I mentioned Wednesday that I wasn’t happy with the prospect of setting the five acclamations in stanza 2 to quarter notes, but I was concerned with the energy lagging if I adapted them to the melody as I did above. I’m also not convinced I have the best solution for the text in measures 13 through 16. I thought the direct address to God should be on the downbeats in those measures. I had to extend the melody to fit “almighty Father.” Not sure about the new melodic fragment there. I thought of using the b-a-f# figure again, but that seemed repetitive.
I like working on this without benefit of piano or guitar. One of my favorite liturgical musicians thinks as I do: great sacred music should be able to stand unaccompanied.